Daniel Damascus Kimery Reviews "The Thing" Remake 2011/1982

               First of all I just wanted to say that I loved the fact that the film was set in 1982 as an homage to John Carpenter's version of The Thing. This Movie was a very well crafted period piece, great acting, great dialogue, constant suspense, and is a nonstop thrill ride fit for any fan of John Carpenter's Action/Horror Movies. 5/6 skulls.

Hellraiser(2011)

                     This was Horrible even by 21st Century American Horror Remake standards. This movie looks like it picked up it's cast at a Mcdonalds. The script was like something that a retarded child on crack would write. The Cenobites sucked. The soundtrack sucked. There wasn't one thing about this movie that I could give any more than a Zero to. 0/6 skulls. 

Daniel Damascus Kimery's review of Stacy Davidson's "Sweat Shop"

                                        If You are a Gothic Raver/Gore Whore that love's Austin,Texas then this movie will be to you what "The Passion of The Christ" was to Catholics. 6/6 Skulls.

Daniel Damascus Kimery's Top 10 Horror Magazines

1. Fangoria
2. Rue Morgue
3. HorrorHound
4. GOREZONE
5. Famous Monsters
6. Filmfax
7. Heavy Metal
8. Diablolique
9. Gothic Beauty
10. Scream

Daniel Damascus Kimery's Review of Christopher Smith's "Black Death"

                                This is The Best Horror Movie that I have seen all year. 6/6 Skulls.

Daniel Damascus Kimery's Review of Kim Jee-Woon's " I saw The Devil"

                                 This movie was severely overrated. I can't believe that Dr.Cyclops gave this movie 4 eyeballs. It wasn't all that bad, but the hype was so huge that I found myself seriously let down. 3/6 Skulls.

Daniel Damascus Kimery's Review of Pascal Laugier's "Martyrs"

                                            This is probably the most disturbing Horror Movie that I have ever seen. This Movie shook Me to My Core and left me feeling cold, dark, and empty. Viva Le France. 6/6 Skulls.

Daniel Damascus Kimery's Review of Henry Lee's "Header"

                                      Based on The Novel that they said was unfilmable. This is The Best Horror Comedy that I have ever seen and it is Great Masterbation Material. I have seen it at least 20 times. 6/6 Skulls.

Daniel Damascus Kimery Review's Marvin Kren's "Rammbock: Berlin Undead"

                                  This is one Pulse Pounding, Edge of your Seat Horror Ride. The only problem is that at 63 Minutes the Ride just doesn't last long enough. 4/6 Skulls.

Daniel Damascus Kimery Reviews Ti West's "The House of The Devil"

                              This was a 2 hour movie that when you remove all the pointless filler should only been about 5 minutes long. This is The Worst Horror Movie ever Made. You could tell by watching this that they were deliberately trying to make the most bland and pointless movie in The History of Cinema. This movie was so shitty that it made Twilight seem awesome by comparison. 0/6 Skulls

Daniel Damascus Kimery's Review of Robert Kurtzman's "The Rage"

5 Skulls. Will add more later.

Daniel Damascus Kimery's Review of Sean Tretta's "The Frankenstein Syndrome"

                         This Movie was like a cross between Lawmower Man and Return of The Living Dead. The only reason why I am giving this film two skulls is because it was the only movie out of the three that I just rented that didn't completely suck. 2/6 skulls

Daniel Damascus Kimery's Review of John Carpenter's "The Ward"

                                 I am still in shock over the fact that this is a John Carpenter movie. It is definitely by far his worst, but see it anyways just so I can say I told you so. 1/6 Skulls

Daniel Damascus Kimery's Review of George Romero's "Deadtime Stories Volume 1"

                      No wonder they called it Dead Time Stories... it put me to sleep. The fact that they used George Romero's name is very deceptive seeing as how his only involvement in this movie is hosting between horror segments. I would give it a zero but I will give it a one just because George Romero did a good job as The Host. 1/6 Skulls

Daniel Damascus Kimery's Review of Steven Hentges' "Hunger"

                      The only reason why I watched this steaming pile of shit is because it had Fangoria Frightfest written on the cover so I rescued it from the $5 Bin at Walmart. They lost me when it was day five and they were all acting like they had just ate. They would be eating somebody in the first few days. My solution would be to dry the meat into jerky. It's the next best thing to cooking it. This Movie was Saw on Gasoline Huffs and Paint Chips. 1/6 Skulls.

Daniel Damascus Kimery's Top 20 Clive Barker Movies

1. Dread
2. Midnight Meat Train
3. Hellraiser 2: Hellbound
4. Hellraiser
5. Book of Blood
6. Nightbreed
7. Lord of Illusions
8. Hellraiser 4: Bloodlines
9. Hellraiser 3: Hell on Earth
10. Rawhead Rex
11. Clive Barker: The Art of Horror
12. Candyman
13. Candyman 2: Farewell to The Flesh
14. Candyman 3: Day of The Dead
15. Transmutations
16. JoJo Baby
17. Born
18. Tortured Souls: Animae Damnatae
19. The Plague
20. Gods and Monsters

Daniel Damascus Kimery's Review of Fred M. Andrews's "Creature"

                     I can't believe that this steaming pile of shit got The Cover Page of Fangoria September 2011. This movie was corny even for a B-Movie. It was like a Cajun House of a Thousand Corpses with a really bad crack habit. It's only real redeeming features was Sid Haig's performance as some kind of Bayou version of Captain Spaulding and a few good boob shots, other than that this movie was a big waste of time. 1/6 Skulls

Daniel Damascus Kimery Review of Craig Gillespie's "Fright Night 2011"

                         I normally don't like remakes. This remake was an exceptional in that even though it may not have been as good as the original it was still a lot better than what I was expecting. I would have just given this movie 3 Skulls but since it has a really cool Cameo with Chris Sarandon (Jerry Dandridge from The Original Fright Night) I had to bump it up a notch and give it 4/6 Skulls.

Daniel Damascus Kimery's Review of Robert Hall's "ChromeSkull: Laid to Rest 2"

                      It was most definitely a worthy Sequel. I swear to My Imaginary God's that The Laid to Rest Series has some of the best Death that I have ever seen in a movie. I love the way Chrome Skull makes these "people' die like the fucking pigs that they are. Winning!!! I am such a Gore Whore that to me this stuff is like Porn so at The End of the Day it really is all about having some good Death with me, but the plot is corny and implausible so I am going to give this Film 5/6 Skulls.

Daniel Damascus Kimery's Review of Kevin Smith's "Red State"

                           First of all I just wanted to say that I hate Liberal Horror Movies and I hate Kevin Smith. Having said that I must admit that I was very well pleased with this picture. It's about these three bicurious high school kids that are going to this older woman's house that they met on Craigslist for a gangbang. The chick they thought was a slut turns out to be a Religious freak that wants to torture, humiliate, and murder Gays and especially Bisexuals. What I loved about this movie was the fact that every character in the movie was a sick, depraved, derelict, scumbag, piece of shit and everybody that's in the first 30 minutes of the movie is dead at the end of the movie. Kevin you really out did yourself this time and I honestly feel that if you would have made Horror Movies to start off with instead of Comedies and Dramas then you would be up there with John Carpenter and George Romero right now. John Goodman plays the Antihero in this movie and I have never seen a movie or Tv Show with John Goodman that I didn't love so I am going to give this movie 5/6 Skulls.